I Did Not Make a New Friend Today

Pandora, a music site, can stream on my phone so I enjoy listening to that while on the bus. Today I forgot my phone and was subjected to the conversations around me. Usually there is very little talking or there's the occasional one-sided phone conversation. But today was a special day. There was a very chatty fellow on the 22 bus between Albany and Troy (a bus-line already known for sketchy characters that is only reinforced further with every single ride I take) and I was privy to an awesome conversation/monologue today.

They tried to put me in jail twice.
I *** his baby-mama.
This is my first drug charge. All I have is violent crimes.
The cops busted his door down looking for me now he's facing jail time for that shit.
I'm not gonna pop no crying girl.

I didn't know what to do with myself. I was terrified and interested at the same time. I should've been more terrified than I was but he excused himself when he bumped into another rider. Go figure.