After all the soul searching about changing careers and industries I ended up with a full-time position in the one I was aiming for in the first place. I got a promotion at one of the two part time jobs I had for the past year and I'm now in a full-time position, with job security and a retirement plan, in theatre. I love it. I love the job. I love the people. I am really, really lucky. I don't know how much longer I could take the schedule and not feeling like I really belonged anywhere.
This doesn't mean my dream of a bookstore is over. It means it's a longer term goal than before. After all the conversations I was having with banking type people, the economy taking a second nosedive into a shallow pool, and Borders closing my business plan- as solid as it is- isn't going to find support. I need more assets to put up against a bank loan. And not just any asset. I need a house. That's a long time coming as is. Though Borders closing opens opportunities for smaller businesses- such as mine- bankers are looking at the industry as a whole, not that Borders had a terrible modern business model and CEOs who didn't know anything about the industry, and saying- the book business is not a good investment. And when I walk in starry eyed and eager with no collateral, I'm not what they're looking for. Yet.
For now, please enjoy my new motivational speaker.
Showing posts with label bookstore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bookstore. Show all posts
September 6, 2011
April 26, 2011
Biding My Time Pointedly. Is That Possible?
While I'm waiting to hear from HSBC about my latest loan application I'm applying to full time jobs. I can't afford to have all my eggs in a broken wicker basket. I've come to terms with the possible derailment in my schedule. It's been a difficult transition. But one I should have anticipated and have since grown comfortable with having a less tangible, less immediate goal. So I'll have a full time job in the meantime and make sure Mike and I stay a little more solvent.
I can't help but feel like I'm holding us back from something. He insists that I'm not. That we're not just aimlessly moving through life. We have goals and since those goals are not totally in line with our peers it appears we're totally slacking or something equally inappropriate for a pair of soon-to-be-thirty-year-olds. I'm starting to reach that clarity. But it's been really hard for me to get there. I have this nasty, nasty habit of comparing my life to others'. Oh it's the worst. It's not healthy, not fun and causing irreparable self esteem problems. Time is proving to be generous in its help in this matter. Let's hope Time continues to be helpful in other, equally relevant matters.
I can't help but feel like I'm holding us back from something. He insists that I'm not. That we're not just aimlessly moving through life. We have goals and since those goals are not totally in line with our peers it appears we're totally slacking or something equally inappropriate for a pair of soon-to-be-thirty-year-olds. I'm starting to reach that clarity. But it's been really hard for me to get there. I have this nasty, nasty habit of comparing my life to others'. Oh it's the worst. It's not healthy, not fun and causing irreparable self esteem problems. Time is proving to be generous in its help in this matter. Let's hope Time continues to be helpful in other, equally relevant matters.
April 2, 2011
Treading Water
I haven't have much luck with loans for the bookstore lately. It appears I just don't have enough capital. I don't know what my plan of attack should be. Should I take what I've raised, put it in a CD and get a full time job to save up? Or do I continue on the tiring schedule I have now- six day weeks working two full time jobs with a one-way hour commute to each and keep plugging away until I find a bank who will go out on a limb for me? There are so many pros and cons to each scenario. The biggest con of either being I've been applying to full time jobs for six years with no luck- let alone a job that would pay me enough to save anything substantial. That's why I decided to create my own. I was tired of the rat race.
A friend says my frustration about the situation is because it's not happening on my time table. Part of that is true. But that isn't it. It's that I'm drowning in the heavy what ifs. What if someone else opens a store there? What if the only way a bank will finance me is if someone can put their house up for collateral for me? What if I don't find someone who will do that? What if I can't find a full time job? What if I can't find a full time job that pays enough to save? What if I hold off big life decisions, that affect more than me, to chase after something that might not even come to fruition? What if it just doesn't happen for me?
I really didn't think my personal investment would be the issue. I've heard so many different things about how much banks like to see. There's no industry standards. It doesn't help that the economy is literally a problem. Not too long ago my amount wouldn't have been a problem. The Small Business Administration guaranteed loans that didn't need guaranteeing and now they've tightened their requirements. A few months ago, maybe a year, I would've been guaranteed. Oh, the timing.
I'm not the most optimistic right now. I just can't get my head straight and find direction. There's really no one I can turn to with any guidance or answers. Once I can come up with a game plan I will feel better. In the meantime, I'm putting in one loan application with HSBC. They're a Small Business Administration preferred lender and they're willing to work with the Albany Chamber of Commerce, who could also lend me money. It was really nice to meet with them. They're very nice and it was one of the easier lending meetings I've had. Bankers tend not to make for colorful conversationalists. And the meeting made me feel better about being rejected by a lender that I thought would be one to lend me. I'm filling out the application and I'm reminded about how much I dislike filling out these applications.
A friend says my frustration about the situation is because it's not happening on my time table. Part of that is true. But that isn't it. It's that I'm drowning in the heavy what ifs. What if someone else opens a store there? What if the only way a bank will finance me is if someone can put their house up for collateral for me? What if I don't find someone who will do that? What if I can't find a full time job? What if I can't find a full time job that pays enough to save? What if I hold off big life decisions, that affect more than me, to chase after something that might not even come to fruition? What if it just doesn't happen for me?
I really didn't think my personal investment would be the issue. I've heard so many different things about how much banks like to see. There's no industry standards. It doesn't help that the economy is literally a problem. Not too long ago my amount wouldn't have been a problem. The Small Business Administration guaranteed loans that didn't need guaranteeing and now they've tightened their requirements. A few months ago, maybe a year, I would've been guaranteed. Oh, the timing.
I'm not the most optimistic right now. I just can't get my head straight and find direction. There's really no one I can turn to with any guidance or answers. Once I can come up with a game plan I will feel better. In the meantime, I'm putting in one loan application with HSBC. They're a Small Business Administration preferred lender and they're willing to work with the Albany Chamber of Commerce, who could also lend me money. It was really nice to meet with them. They're very nice and it was one of the easier lending meetings I've had. Bankers tend not to make for colorful conversationalists. And the meeting made me feel better about being rejected by a lender that I thought would be one to lend me. I'm filling out the application and I'm reminded about how much I dislike filling out these applications.
March 12, 2011
Things I Plan to Do at the Bookstore
At first I won't be able to do a lot of author events, like book signings and things like that, because my store won't be very known. So I plan to do the following things to get people in the door. After, of course, a media blitz.
1. Knitting Circles. My floorplan includes some furniture in a small sitting area. That's to save on inventory money and give people a reason to stop in on their lunch break. There aren't a lot of places to get a break from work so if there's sitting there's people. On Saturdays when it will probably be slow until people move down there I'll host knitting circles. That will give people a new place to hang out and check out the store. And if someone wants to learn, they can.
2. Lunchtime Book Clubs. As I mentioned in #1 people downtown need a place to go during lunch to just get out of their cubicles. At least the people I spoke to did. This way people can meet for a few times a week and talk about what's up in the book. And if the club buys the books with me they get a discount.
3. Beer and a Book. A book club that I would partner up with a bar or pub where we pick beers based on the book. What would the character drink? What drinks are featured in the book? Etc, Or I could do it after hours and it'll be a byob event. That's still to be figured out.
4. Non-partisan Open Discussion Nights. Since I want my store to be a place where people exchange ideas and learn about their community, I want to host small informal events where people can talk about what's happening and actually learning about them. I would work with community groups involved with topical issues and host it in many different places. I could work as a moderator so things don't get out of hand. This is a fledgling idea.
5. Kids Days/Camps. On Saturdays or during the breaks the store could do something like a book camp. There will be structured events based on books and whatnot and also free reading time.
6. Non-author Book Events. There's also creating events based on book releases that don't involve the author of the book. Tea parties for cookbooks, that kind of thing.
7. Open Mics. Poetry nights, acoustic nights, prose nights. Things that are related to writing. And that can include the obvious and not so obvious like play readings and stuff.
Any events you wish your bookstore did that you'd like them to do?
1. Knitting Circles. My floorplan includes some furniture in a small sitting area. That's to save on inventory money and give people a reason to stop in on their lunch break. There aren't a lot of places to get a break from work so if there's sitting there's people. On Saturdays when it will probably be slow until people move down there I'll host knitting circles. That will give people a new place to hang out and check out the store. And if someone wants to learn, they can.
2. Lunchtime Book Clubs. As I mentioned in #1 people downtown need a place to go during lunch to just get out of their cubicles. At least the people I spoke to did. This way people can meet for a few times a week and talk about what's up in the book. And if the club buys the books with me they get a discount.
3. Beer and a Book. A book club that I would partner up with a bar or pub where we pick beers based on the book. What would the character drink? What drinks are featured in the book? Etc, Or I could do it after hours and it'll be a byob event. That's still to be figured out.
4. Non-partisan Open Discussion Nights. Since I want my store to be a place where people exchange ideas and learn about their community, I want to host small informal events where people can talk about what's happening and actually learning about them. I would work with community groups involved with topical issues and host it in many different places. I could work as a moderator so things don't get out of hand. This is a fledgling idea.
5. Kids Days/Camps. On Saturdays or during the breaks the store could do something like a book camp. There will be structured events based on books and whatnot and also free reading time.
6. Non-author Book Events. There's also creating events based on book releases that don't involve the author of the book. Tea parties for cookbooks, that kind of thing.
7. Open Mics. Poetry nights, acoustic nights, prose nights. Things that are related to writing. And that can include the obvious and not so obvious like play readings and stuff.
Any events you wish your bookstore did that you'd like them to do?
January 3, 2011
Free Books! Bring It!
When Mike and I got home from work today a package was waiting for "Katherine Stephens, Beverwyck Books" from Houghton Mifflin, the publishing house. How peculiar and AWESOME. Here's what was in the package:
How COOOOOOLLL! My very first advanced copy of a book. Well, one was given as a gift a few years ago but this is totally different. This is just the beginning. I danced around my kitchen at the excitement of this. I know that one day I will be swimming in advanced copies but I don't care. This is so awesome. I'll let you know what I think of it when I get a chance to read it. So far I like the cover. But I'm a sucker for a good cover. I know I know- I've read some crappy books because of fancy packaging. But sometimes it works out for me.
Anywhoodle. I just had to share. Woot!
January 2, 2011
Ain't Too Proud
Remember when I earlier posted about pushing myself out of my comfort zone? Well, here's the best example I have of that. I set up a fundraising gadget to the side of the blog, and on the bottom of this post, to raise money for capital to start my bookstore. I need a bank or other lender to loan me a lot of money- $115,000 to be exact- and banks like to see more self-raised money than I've been able to liquidate. Other entrepreneurs turn to friends and family for loans of large sums. My friends and family don't have large sums to lend. So I'm turning to everyone out there for help, a little at a time. If you're a casual blog reader, think of this as giving me a busking tip- like I'm singing on the side of the street and you toss me a dollar. If you're a friend or family member, I'll bake you some cookies. Heck, I'll bake anyone who donates cookies. Send me your address and I'll do it. You tell me what kind, I'll bake them to order.
This is hard for me because 1) I'm afraid I'll turn off some people. 2) This feels kind of humiliating like I'm admitting I'm unable to start this by myself. 3) What if no one helps? That is terrifying. But really, 1) If someone out there doesn't approve, they don't have to donate. 2) Sometimes you need help. The brave thing is admitting it and looking for it. And 3) Someone out there will help.
So, if you're someone who wants to help please donate or direct people to this post or just send out good energy into the world in my general direction. Please don't feel obligated. Really. Just your reading this this far is awesome. This is a totally secure transaction. I will not have access to any account information. The donation goes directly into my paypal account. I'm not asking for much. I'll be grateful for anything- $5 is great. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This is hard for me because 1) I'm afraid I'll turn off some people. 2) This feels kind of humiliating like I'm admitting I'm unable to start this by myself. 3) What if no one helps? That is terrifying. But really, 1) If someone out there doesn't approve, they don't have to donate. 2) Sometimes you need help. The brave thing is admitting it and looking for it. And 3) Someone out there will help.
So, if you're someone who wants to help please donate or direct people to this post or just send out good energy into the world in my general direction. Please don't feel obligated. Really. Just your reading this this far is awesome. This is a totally secure transaction. I will not have access to any account information. The donation goes directly into my paypal account. I'm not asking for much. I'll be grateful for anything- $5 is great. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Parenthesees Alert
Mike and I don't really eat at many restaurant chains. The only chain we frequent is Taco Bell. (And everyone knows that isn't real food.) We don't even really shop at chains- online or in person. Target? Of course. The mall? Not so much. (Full disclosure, we're also poor.) I even split our groceries between a local chain and our food co-op. I don't know why our shopping habits are such exactly. Since we live inside the city near a plethora of fresh food and locally owned everything, convenience dictates we stay chain-free and local. Even ordering from Domino's Pizza is less convenient than ordering from the pizza place a block away. (And less tasty.) I'm not saying we think chain restaurants are all terrible. But those places lack character (despite the apparent lack of trying) and they aren't as invested in the creating customer loyalty. Just another schmuck will come along and take the place of the disgruntled.
But lately I've found a whole new appreciation for patronizing the local establishments. It hit me today as I was picking up my lunch crepe (nom nom nummers) from a small creperie that the woman behind the counter (making my crepe and wishing me a happy new year in French) was the owner and that the tiny, lovely restaurant was her dream. How wonderful buying my crepe became. In a way I was supporting her dream. And it felt pretty good. And was delicious.
I have a dream to open a bookstore and yet I find myself crippled with fear at this next step. The holidays are ending and I can no longer use the excuse that no one really works on the holidays and I now have to begin contacting financial institutions for financial support. I've been so stressed out about it my eye keeps twitching. It's driving me mad! Not as mad as my self-imposed block is, but still pretty nuts. But today I've made the first few steps of sending emails to people I need to meet. (I'm sure emails seem like a cop-out but the schedule I keep and the total inability to answer my cell phone at either job makes email the best way to reach me and to make meetings.) This whole endeavor is pushing me outside of my comfort zone. That's a good thing, but man it makes me uncomfortable. Nevertheless, here I go.
But lately I've found a whole new appreciation for patronizing the local establishments. It hit me today as I was picking up my lunch crepe (nom nom nummers) from a small creperie that the woman behind the counter (making my crepe and wishing me a happy new year in French) was the owner and that the tiny, lovely restaurant was her dream. How wonderful buying my crepe became. In a way I was supporting her dream. And it felt pretty good. And was delicious.
I have a dream to open a bookstore and yet I find myself crippled with fear at this next step. The holidays are ending and I can no longer use the excuse that no one really works on the holidays and I now have to begin contacting financial institutions for financial support. I've been so stressed out about it my eye keeps twitching. It's driving me mad! Not as mad as my self-imposed block is, but still pretty nuts. But today I've made the first few steps of sending emails to people I need to meet. (I'm sure emails seem like a cop-out but the schedule I keep and the total inability to answer my cell phone at either job makes email the best way to reach me and to make meetings.) This whole endeavor is pushing me outside of my comfort zone. That's a good thing, but man it makes me uncomfortable. Nevertheless, here I go.
December 13, 2010
Step by Step
Oh man, it's been so bitter cold up here and no snow to show for it! Weather, you're an asshole.
Tomorrow I have one more meeting with the Small Business Development Center to finalize my business plan and help me make the next steps in finding funding. My contact fellow there, Howard, is really great. He's a Vietnam veteran with a kind but no nonsense approach to taking care of business. He seems to like me and thinks I have a good chance at getting the financial backing I need. He's already given me some great advice for who to contact and I'm really excited about the next few weeks. He said that once I send out the plans, I'll probably hear within ten days of the banks' and loan funds' receipt. The only thing getting in my way right now are the holidays and my timetable is such that that is no true issue.
I've gotten tremendously positive feedback concerning my business plan since the course I completed in November. I just spoke to one of the judges tonight and he said not to be discouraged since I didn't win or place. (Apparently I came in fourth out of fifteen. Mike and my friends are more excited about that than I but that's neither here nor there.) He said my enthusiasm was apparent and my presentation was exceptional. That's awesome except I'm not going to be making presentations to the banks or loan funds. All that happens is some poor schmuck is going to get a cover letter and bound presentation to sort out. Happily, I've been told the plan is well written and to beef up certain portions- which I've done.
One awesome thing that I must share with you all is that one of the panelists is a banker and she LOVED me. She fought for me the whole way through the debate. And according to Howard could be instrumental in my future. Being the biggest point of contention, I kept the judges there for a while. I guess cause problems is what I do very well? There was a debate over my location and I just had really strong competitors. Things I learned? To add color to my presentation; to spice-up the section titles; and have more about me as a manager. Things I think I can do.
The classes I've taken have me feeling fairly prepared. There are many questions I have, that can't be asked or answered until I'm in the middle of them, but I know that I can reach out to the new contacts and friends I've made here in the Albany book world. I still have to introduce myself to local booksellers in other towns. It's a small, tight-knit community that I really can't wait to be a part of.
Tomorrow I have one more meeting with the Small Business Development Center to finalize my business plan and help me make the next steps in finding funding. My contact fellow there, Howard, is really great. He's a Vietnam veteran with a kind but no nonsense approach to taking care of business. He seems to like me and thinks I have a good chance at getting the financial backing I need. He's already given me some great advice for who to contact and I'm really excited about the next few weeks. He said that once I send out the plans, I'll probably hear within ten days of the banks' and loan funds' receipt. The only thing getting in my way right now are the holidays and my timetable is such that that is no true issue.
I've gotten tremendously positive feedback concerning my business plan since the course I completed in November. I just spoke to one of the judges tonight and he said not to be discouraged since I didn't win or place. (Apparently I came in fourth out of fifteen. Mike and my friends are more excited about that than I but that's neither here nor there.) He said my enthusiasm was apparent and my presentation was exceptional. That's awesome except I'm not going to be making presentations to the banks or loan funds. All that happens is some poor schmuck is going to get a cover letter and bound presentation to sort out. Happily, I've been told the plan is well written and to beef up certain portions- which I've done.
One awesome thing that I must share with you all is that one of the panelists is a banker and she LOVED me. She fought for me the whole way through the debate. And according to Howard could be instrumental in my future. Being the biggest point of contention, I kept the judges there for a while. I guess cause problems is what I do very well? There was a debate over my location and I just had really strong competitors. Things I learned? To add color to my presentation; to spice-up the section titles; and have more about me as a manager. Things I think I can do.
The classes I've taken have me feeling fairly prepared. There are many questions I have, that can't be asked or answered until I'm in the middle of them, but I know that I can reach out to the new contacts and friends I've made here in the Albany book world. I still have to introduce myself to local booksellers in other towns. It's a small, tight-knit community that I really can't wait to be a part of.
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