November 6, 2011

Faded Nevertheless

Does everyone remember their first kiss? Unfortunately I do. His name was Jerry. We lived in California at the time. And I was finally coming into my own there. He was in tenth grade and I was in ninth grade. He was a total motorhead who somehow didn't care that I had the highest grade in our Geometry class. We talked all the time on the phone. My dad must've reigned my mother in because neither one bothered me about him- asked who he was or whatever. Or they just didn't think twice about a boy calling me often. Even when I asked if he could come over and watch Dazed and Confused they were pretty cool. I think my dad was not around due to work or something but my mom was. And she made sure that we knew she was right in the other room. She kept sending my brother into the room to "check on the cats."

The kiss was... terrible. I don't know if his tongue was in my mouth. I think it was because when we pulled away from each other there was some spittle involved. It was gross. But I didn't care. I was on cloud nine. It was my first kiss and he was so cool. I couldn't believe he liked me. It was an amazing feeling. Drool and all.

Later he dropped me for a friend of mine who put out. It was really typical. But it stung nevertheless. I stupidly didn't know when to quit. I called a bunch. I even dedicated a song to him on the radio. Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You." Great song, but a terrible cry for love when you're fourteen and don't know what to do with yourself. I would say the whole thing was embarrassing except it totally worked for me in college. Just kidding, I didn't do it in college. Ok, I would have if I had a radio station to call. I know it would've worked that time. Right? I think so. Yes. Yes, it would've.

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