April 26, 2011

Biding My Time Pointedly. Is That Possible?

While I'm waiting to hear from HSBC about my latest loan application I'm applying to full time jobs. I can't afford to have all my eggs in a broken wicker basket. I've come to terms with the possible derailment in my schedule. It's been a difficult transition. But one I should have anticipated and have since grown comfortable with having a less tangible, less immediate goal. So I'll have a full time job in the meantime and make sure Mike and I stay a little more solvent.

I can't help but feel like I'm holding us back from something. He insists that I'm not. That we're not just aimlessly moving through life. We have goals and since those goals are not totally in line with our peers it appears we're totally slacking or something equally inappropriate for a pair of soon-to-be-thirty-year-olds. I'm starting to reach that clarity. But it's been really hard for me to get there. I have this nasty, nasty habit of comparing my life to others'. Oh it's the worst. It's not healthy, not fun and causing irreparable self esteem problems. Time is proving to be generous in its help in this matter. Let's hope Time continues to be helpful in other, equally relevant matters.

No comments: