A friend of mine had a baby not too long ago. She wanted to have a child so badly you could tell without her saying so. And once she was pregnant, she was the most radiant pregnant woman I've ever seen. She carried well, her skin glowed and peace rested in her face. She had everything she wanted- a husband she loves, a job she likes, a house she can call her own and a child to complete her family. I don't know if she's done having kids but there is something about her that says she has everything she wants out of life. That everything is easy roads from here on out.
I'm jealous. So jealous. Not that she has the house or the baby boy. But that she knows what she wants. We aren't so close that she confides in me often at all so for all I know there's some big picture stuff left on her life to do list. But she's so relaxed and happy that it seems there isn't.
One could think that it's kind of sad that she has it figured out at 30. There is no challenge left and she'll just coast. One could think it's really awesome and she could actually get on with Life instead of fighting or bartering with him all the time. I'm never really okay with where I am. There is always something I want to improve, change or wish to be better. I'll never feel settled. Is this a good thing? I'll always try to improve myself and my situation. Good or bad it's really exhausting.