Lately I've been really unfocused. At first glance I shouldn't be. The spring cleaning extravaganza *explosion of confetti* is as close to done as it's going to get (I could tear through the office and throw everything out. I don't think Mike would notice for a little while. If/when he does, though, I would put myself in some deep shit. Deep shit in a clean office. Hmmmm, I think I could live with that...) especially considering all the wedding gifts I can't open or put away and the massive amounts of left over food from the Best Wedding Shower Ever. And spring cleaning ALWAYS makes me feel totally and completely refreshed. There are a few things left for the wedding that are not my responsibility- and I'm sure as hell not making them my responsibility. And my diet is out of whack. Maybe I just explained to myself why I've been unfocused. I suppose the real problem isn't why I'm unfocused just simply that I am unfocused.
How do I get myself back on track when my routines have been changed? I no longer track my calories, my gym routine is out, and all the new foods I want to eat require a ton of time to prep. Today I grabbed a Lean Cuisine for a few reasons- I want to see how it feels after weeks of not eating one, I didn't want to make another salad, I didn't want to make something else, and I want to eat meat and potatoes while I feel a little under the weather. Which routine do I tackle first? Can I change all these things at the same time? Should I? Was it a bad idea to change a huge part of my being before the second biggest change in my life?
Perhaps I'll go back to tracking my calories while at the same time trying to change what and how I eat. There could be an epiphany. Or not. Maybe it'll just help me feel more focused until I can give my diet the real focus it needs. That's okay, right? Doing everything at once is not always the best idea. Right? The wedding is only three-ish weeks away. I can put this huge change on hold. Or at least slow the hell down. When I get excited about something, boy do I go full steam ahead. I just never want to run out of steam. Maybe that's why I need so many balls in the air. I'm afraid I'll collapse on myself.