April 16, 2010

What Lovely Greener Grass

The wedding is coming along very well. It's fairly smooth when it's only Mike and me doing things. When the parents get involved it can get really painful. For some reason or another it is perceived that Mike and I have no idea what we're doing. This may be the first marriage for both of us, but it is not the first wedding- we've been to about 15 since we've been together and have a very solid idea of what we want out of ours and how we get it. If we don't know, we'll ask.

Unwanted advice is what happens when people plan a wedding. No surprise there at all. What does surprise me is the apparent lack of faith that we are competent adults. We know what and how much people drink at weddings. We know how to fit the number of people we want in the space we have. We know how much time things take. We know how a rehearsal is supposed to work. So on and so forth. So why are we being spoken to like we are idiots? Is it because we're planning it ourselves? Is it because we are doing this in a way very few people do this? Sometimes I regret going comparatively so "grass roots." I wonder if I went the conventional way that people would leave us alone. Probably not. But maybe it wouldn't be this. I can't stand being spoken to like I'm this idiot I'm not.


Winstonian said...

It's because they still view you as "children", not such much idiots. The mentality seems to be that you're not an adult until you're married I guess, and therefore not competent. Tina & I almost just went to the courthouse instead of a wedding because of some people's "advice". It's your wedding, not your mom's or aunt's or friend's... yours. If you acquiesce to their "advice", you'll be more likely to influence your daughter's wedding (or so seems to be the pattern).

dad said...

Hang in there. It is my experience at least one of the parental quartet will think of you as "kids" until you're old enough to complain about getting old. Even then we'll probably trump ya with a "you think that's old..." story.