November 13, 2009

They Better Have Cataracts. Otherwise They're Just Losers.

With some investigation I've come to the following conclusion- my neighbors are the reason my cat needs to eat constantly. You see, when I come home, almost every day, my hallway reeks of pot. It's every weekday and most Sunday mornings. It pretty much stays in the hallway but sometimes it permeates into our living room. Where the cat hangs out. I should start charging those ass hats for all the cat food I'm going through. They're the ones giving her the contact high.

I don't care that they smoke pot. If that's how they want to spend their time and their money then go for it. Waste all of it, I don't care. I only care when it gets into my space. I shouldn't have to smell it. They should do everything they can to keep the smell in their apartment. I wonder if calling the landlord would be a course of action worth taking but it'd be like calling him if I can smell someone's cooking in the hallway- what's he going to do about it? There's no real proof that's where the smell is coming from (though it's painfully obvious) and I'm not going to knock on their door and ask them if they've been hitting the bong. I'll just make a fool of myself. (Really, I'm terrible with drug slang. It's embarrassing.)

At least they're quiet pot smokers. Don't even get me started with the f*ckers who lived next door before them. Those were noisy pot smokers. Hey, the only residents of that apartment who weren't pot smokers were the old couple from three years ago. What's with all the pot in that apartment? Is there a little weed garden that comes with the place? For the last three years my cat has had a contact high. Maybe I should have the landlord take my cat food costs out of my rent. That seems like a fair trade. He keeps putting those idiots in there. Maybe I will make a phone call afterall.

2 comments:

Pamela said...

I dunno. It just smells so good though....they could be burning mountain pine/sage smudging sticks. I swear, that stuff smells exactly like it...I mean, from what I've heard....

dad said...

You could write a song for Lisa Kudrow if the show was still on; something like: "Munchy Cat, Munchy Cat, what have you been smoking? Munchy Cat, Munchy Cat, I know it's the neighbors."

Sorry for the late comment, I seem to catch up all at once...