In By a Wire

Mike and I were out of town for a few days this past weekend and we left the cat to her own devices. I left her two bowls of water and one huge bowl of dry cat food. I figured she doesn't eat that much dry food as it is (that and I didn't have much left to leave her) and we'd only be gone for 48 hours max. Her litter box was cleaned right before we left and I was feeling okay about leaving her. The only problem was in our haste to leave with enough time to get to the race I forgot to close our bedroom door. And Fluffy made very sure to remind me why I needed to do that- she pissed on my pillow. Again.

It was pretty foolish of me to think food, water and a clean litter box would be all the cat needed to not piss on the bed. I was wrong. To make matters worse, it wasn't even fresh pee. The smell was faint and the bed was dry. She must've pissed on the bed Friday morning. That means it was before the litter box was full of anything and before she ran out of food or water. That little shit was angry that we left her alone. Even if I remember to close the door, she'll find something else to piss on. Something that I can't stick in a washing machine. I don't even want to think about that.

This cat has been up to no good lately. Last week when I was in Virginia and Mike was at work, Mike came home to find our loaf of bread on the living room floor with a hole eaten through the plastic. The week before that was the worst by far. I was reading in the bedroom and Fluffy jumped up on the bed and started sniffing and pawing around. She stopped suddenly and took the position. I chased her off the bed into the bathroom where she popped a squat and proceeded to shit on the floor. SHE WAS GOING TO SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR BED. I looked in her litter box and it was full of diarrhea. So I cleaned her litter box and left her in the bathroom. As soon as I closed the door she vomited the most vomit I've ever seen her create with that little body. Thank God it was on linoleum. I left her in there for a little while and when I went to check on her she had eaten her vomit.

I just don't know what to do to this cat. Get her a psychiatrist? I mean really. I don't think I can handle a cat with a dependency disorder. I have enough of a problem with that from a certain matriarch I know.