November 28, 2008

I Come Clean... In a Sense

So much food was ingested in these past two days. Unfortunately nothing was digested. Or so it would seem. I don't poop. I just don't. I do sometimes but I go days without what the medical community calls elimination. I've talked to doctors about it and they got nothing. I do everything right- I drink only water, I exercise, I ingest plenty of fiber. I don't know what else to do. Is there anything left to try? It's so infrequent that when I do poop Mikey gives me a round of applause. I mean, I like applause and all but I shouldn't get it when my body does what it's supposed to do. But when I poo it's a big deal.

I don't know how I can ever want to eat anything since there is never any room for new food. This past weekend when I ate two Thanksgiving dinners in two straight days I had no room for food for a full day afterward. It didn't help that I didn't poop for three days! The only time I have successful elimination is when I do that herbal cleanse I mentioned previously. On that cleanse I poop every day- sometimes more than once. It's a miracle! People are supposed to poop once, if not twice a day. I'm lucky if I get three times a week. It's not normal. I don't like it. And I don't want to take laxatives all the time. That's not normal either. But that's the only recourse I get.

Eh, I guess my perpetual constipation is good for something. When people accuse me of being full of shit, they are always correct. Regardless, I'd like to be hungry every once in a while. I mean, this is ridiculous. I'm almost always uncomfortable and I can't get an accurate weight because I don't poop on weekends and my weigh in day is a Tuesday. Monday simply isn't enough time to eliminate three days of food. This is not okay.

No comments: