I Should've Worn Pants

I haven't been blogging because I haven't had much to say other than wallowing in the situation I've gotten myself into. And the thing is I'm not that negative day to day, just when I sit down to write I've got nothing.

What I will tell you is that I turned thirty on Saturday. To celebrate it I went to the town's biergarten to get the birthday boot- a glass boot that holds two liters of beer. My goal was to drink it in under two hours. Instead I drank it in one hour, had an hour of drunken conversation and puked for five hours. It's my fault entirely. I should've eaten more- I just didn't. All day I kept thinking, "I should just eat some popcorn or something." Then when we went to the biergarten I kept thinking, "Just eat something and stop drinking so fast." I had downed half of it in about 45 minutes. But when the fellas pointed out that another woman there finished her boot in an hour I felt it was go time and stopped drinking and started chugging.

I like to pretend that my party ended at the biergarten and that there wasn't A WHOLE SECOND ACT to my birthday. Mike bought a "30" pinata, a cake with my name on it, decorated our friends' home and bought a whole cookout worth of food. Thank GOD all the food was eaten and he saved me the pinata. Everyone had fun, even my friend Lyndy who spent much of her evening rubbing my back while I heaved into the toilet. And I can honestly say, since I lived through that, I had a good time as well. But in my old age let me tell you, don't wear a dress when you plan to drink your daily calories in beer. Everyone will thank you.