November 10, 2010

I Need a New Kind of Harmony

Today I presented my business plan for the panel of judges. I wish I could say I killed it- that I totally won them over with my whimsy and business savvy. Maybe I did. But I don't think so. I was my usual quirky yet pointed self. I got a few chuckles with my little aside about how moving here for my now-husband five years ago luckily worked out and each judge made comments and had questions- even made eye contact. So it's not as if I feel like I presented to a bunch of disinterested ass-holes. I just feel kind of empty about it.

Thing is I was really psyched about making a case for my business plan. Not totally because I think I have the most banging plan- after I turned it in I realized some things I could've put in or changed. (That's okay because that means I can make those changes before I start peddling for money.) But because I love making presentations- it's a different kind of performance I can make. I love performing. I really miss getting up and engaging people, whether I can see the people or not.

Every once in a while I feel that I should get back into a choir. Find a nice group of people who just like to sing together and have a new creative outlet. I used to love, LOVE, being in a choir. Something about human voices blending together to create something new really makes the world seem brighter. I just have so little time that I'm afraid if I give myself another commitment, even one that would make me a happier person, I will really start to strain myself. Then again, I won't know if I don't try. And I think it may be time I do.

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