April 23, 2010

Some Syrup With That Waffle?

I still haven't made a decision about what I'm going to do exactly with my last name. I thought I had until we came back from our honeymoon in August to make a decision. The plane tickets were bought with my current name and we all know the name on the ticket has to match the name on the identification of the traveler. Super! I could waffle on this massive decision for that much longer. I've only had years to think about it and these next few months were going to give me the right amount of time I needed.

No matter, I was wrong about how much time I had anyway. Last week Mike and I got our wedding license. And for filling out a form and dropping $40 it was pretty thrilling. Before we went I made sure we had all the documentation we needed, there was no wait and the City Clerk's office is a few blocks from my place of work so it was 30 minutes and bam! Done! We can get married. So simple and painless- even a gay person could do it! There was one hiccup- on the form we had to put any name change plans. When the clerk asked me if I was going to change my name I panicked and after some indecipherable babbling said "Stephens-DiMaio!" The smirk on Mike's face could be seen from Mars.

I didn't know that had to be decided for the license. I guess most women already know by that point? Am I that much of a rarity? The marriage license isn't an identifying document so I'm not bound to change it to Stephens-DiMaio. I could do whatever to my name. Whatever I FINALLY decide on, and believe me when I say even I'm irritated at the lack of decisiveness, can't become my legal name until after August 21st. But I should probably just make up my mind already.


Carrie said...

Great post! Don't worry so much - you can change your name at any time for any reason (other than to avoid debt or defraud someone). So if you change your mind a year after you're married, you can still change your name w/ little or no problem. :)

Tina Winston said...

My advice: don't hyphenate, it's a pain in the ass to sign. I understand your reluctance to make a decision. If it helps at all, I can tell you that changing my name did not feel like chucking my identity out the window. I kept my last name as my middle name, and it feels good there. No matter what you do, you're still you. Only now you will be you married to the person you love :). Do whatever makes you happy, toots. mwah!

dad said...

All good advice. Just remember that you need official ID documents for many things in life--you will want all of those to agree in name. Anything that uses your SSN will have to be your current name until you change it with the Social Security office. Consider what you want as your SSN name, which will also be on your taxes and probably on your Passport. Driver's licenses mostly don't use SSNs anymore but you will probably want that to agree with the other documents since many people consider it definitive. Lastly, make sure you are registered to vote in a way you can positively ID yourself. Lastly, you may eventually have to decide on how to do this with the kids (?) since you can play with that too... BTW, as a husband it doesn't offend me either way (I
speak from experience) but you might want to get a reading from Mike. Be confident in your choice either way! Happy Days :)

Krisnvt said...

I did maiden name as middle name. It has some neat options that way. Interesting that my kids though wish they had both names. So there's a case for the hyphen.