March 1, 2010

Mind Over Matter

As per my usual, when I got on the bus this morning I went to the first available row and sat in the window seat. It's not that I have any preference to the window- I just think people are assholes for sitting on the end and preventing someone sitting next to them. On this particular bus the seats are heavily cushioned and the seat I selected was severely indented and dark. It looked rather suspect compared to its bench companion. I convinced myself it was wet before I even sat down on it, when I realized it wasn't. Surely the seat looked like that because of people like myself- conscientious bus riders. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was sitting in something damp.

I didn't once shift my weight for fear of hearing a squish and finding out the seat really was wet. I didn't have the balls to actually touch the padding with skin. I was too scared to prove myself right. So the whole ride I was reading a book and listening to my iPod. Anything to take my focus off of my ass. You know how when you are touching something slightly damp (not wet but damp) you feel cool? Well my ass felt cool the entire time and I was trapped. I couldn't go anywhere because since I kept the aisle seat open for someone, someone took me up on the offer and sat there the entire ride. I was screwed and freaking out.

Once I stood up and got off the bus, I faced my fear and touched my totally not damp at all rear. Yet, I couldn't shake the willies I gave myself after my initial thought of "that seat looks peed in." Whatever would I have done if the seat really was wet? I think the better question is, why did I sit in it at all? Oh how I wish I could answer that.


EmilyAlexandra said...

Do you know how many times I have done that? Not of course on a bus, but on seats all the time. OR even more so when I go and sit in someones car or on their couch, and they had a stain there before I didn't see then freak out that for some reason, when I was not paying attention I left a mark. WITH WHAT? I have no idea, I'm not old enough to lose control of my bladder haha.

Anonymous said...

those bus seats are always wet; roofs leak and people are wet when getting on. i would very much doubt it was piss - or else you prolly would have smelled like piss today. go public transport!