Not a High Point of Either's Day

At around 3pm today I had my hand up a turkey's ass while my sister blew my nose. It was a very intimate moment for all involved. You have to understand- my nose was running and I was having a hard time figuring out if I got all the gibly bits out of the turkey before I shoved it in the oven. While all the cavity searching was going on, my nose decided to turn into a faucet. I couldn't blow my nose, re: bird's ass view, and there is no soap by the kitchen sink at my mother's boyfriend's house. In order to get rid of the avalanche of snot I would have to put down the bird, go to a bathroom and wash the salmonella off my hands to blow my nose and wash my hands again. So, when I hollered for help with the gibly bits my sister came to my rescue and kindly held a tissue to my nose. My brother came up to help with one last blow and the crisis was averted.

I was making a Thanksgiving dinner. A very good Thanksgiving dinner if I say so myself. I've cooked a turkey before but I wanted to do this differently- no prepackaged spices for me this time. I was nervous about what I was going to do with it. There was some leftover sage and thyme from the rutabaga stew so I figured I would bring it with me to Virginia so it wouldn't go to waste. Yes, I flew with organic sage and thyme in my suitcase. And it was thrilling. I covered the bird in vegetable oil to crisp up the skin, surrounded it with yellow onions and covered it with thyme and sage. I cooked it at 350 degrees for 2.5 hours in an oven bag. I wasn't nervous about it being undercooked, I was just nervous about it tasting good. And I think I reached my goal. At least everyone said so through filled mouths. The bird wasn't dry and it wasn't pink. It was perfect. And my nose cleared up.