November 30, 2009

A Fresh Start?

Today is the last day of November and that means the end of the daily posting. Last year felt easier. Maybe it's because I had only been blogging for a few months and had some stuff bottled up. Who knows? I know I can write about whatever I want to write about but that's not really true. I can't really write about my family because they are easily offended, not that any of them read this anyway. I also find it hard to write about my dreams or aspirations because I'm afraid if I don't follow through I've let more than myself down. Instead of owning my "failures" and talking about them, I want to hide from them. Like one of my first posts was about how I was doing a push-up challenge with some coworkers. I totally let that fall by the wayside and never followed up on it on the blog. Though only one person at work involved in the challenge kept up with it, not finishing it because I sent it out to cyberspace made me feel more accountable. And that's scarier for some reason.

But I'm not going to let that matter anymore. I think I'm going to put myself out there and see what comes of it. It's been said that your dreams can never really come true until you write them down. From here on out I'm going to write what I want to write. I'm not going to censor myself but I'm not going to write anything that I can't say to someones face. People have really appreciated some of my more honest and open posts. I'm not going to get revolutionary or say crazy things or write something heart stopping tomorrow. I'm just going to let myself feel free. I need to feel unfettered somewhere. Why not here? A place of my own making? Well, here I go.

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