December 8, 2008

A Whole New Kind

I moved my alarm clock across the room for two reasons. The first reason was because I read somewhere that if you don't sleep well that it is a good idea to remove electronic devices to a few feet away from you. The electric field interrupts healthy sleeping. Since I've moved my clocks I've already noticed a difference in my sleep. It is certainly better. Not only are there no electric currents affecting my brain but I don't wake up and try to find out what time it is only to freak out. This has been very helpful.

The second reason was because I can't get my ass out of bed. I figured that if I moved the clock away from the bed I would be up to turn off the alarm and consequently stay up. Well, the first day I remembered in my sleepy stupor that I had a remote for that alarm clock. So I hit snooze by remote control. When I decided I couldn't be trusted with such technology I put my remote in elsewhere in the room. Well, I just got up to get the remote and hit snooze that way. I've since removed the remote. Now I just get out of bed and hit snooze only to climb back into bed. It doesn't matter that I do that for two hours. I'll do it only to get back into bed for another nine minutes.

I've reached a new low. I was close today because I actually stayed up to pee. But I only got back into bed like a good lazy shithead. The only way to stop the cycle is to just get out of bed. I just have to do it.


Anonymous said...

Not too discourage anyone out there but I have been doin this for years. I just don't want to get up. The alarm is set early and across the room but I will still get up everyday and HIT SNOOZE and climb back into bed. I don't always get back to sleep but I'll still lay there refusing to get out of my nice warm bed. Then I wonder why every morning is a mad rush to get out the door. Guess who missed the bus again today!

dad said...

Employed for some 37 years (God that makes me feel old to say) I have found the small universe that exists within the 5-9 minutes of the standard Snooze. I have spent an eternity in that tiny cosmos, somehow defying Einstein by warping time, but not space. Sometimes it stretched to where it felt like another rest cycle, and conversely it sometimes felt like no time at all. In the end, I went with a music alarm becuz it engaged my mind so i could make a rational decision to get up. They say it helps if you like your job--but who knows what that feels like?