September 3, 2008

I Got Your Kidney Right Here

Last night was my last night of Kinoki footpads. Final result? Total crap.

They didn't work every night. Mike said maybe I was clean (I joked that maybe I've finally achieved organic-ness) but when I put pads on later to check they would turn black. So some nights detoxed other nights not detoxed. The way it worked out one foot is more detoxed than the other. I am lopsidedly detoxified. What bunk.

I'm very disappointed. I really wanted them to work. I'm all about detoxing. I really believe it's great for your body and mind to clear out the junk. We put a lot of bad things in our bodies and sometimes our bodies need help removing everything. I want my organs to be in tip top shape to be donated after I die. No matter how old I am. I am going to be the cleanest old bag around!! Want some liver? Here, have a chunk, it'll provide some pure plasma! Need a spleen? Have mine, your blood will be the cleanest in town! Want some corneas? You will see clearly now, the clouds have gone!

Maybe Kinoki did achieve something. I have been waking up a little more refreshed than usual. Or maybe I just want them to work so badly I'm unknowingly forcing myself to sleep more soundly. Who knows? But I do know that I need to get myself a massage and an herbal cleanse. Maybe some acupuncture for my digestive tract. I need to finish the job I started!


Anonymous said...

It looks like the only thing Kinoki Footpads got us were spam emails to my Yahoo account. Looking back, that was a pretty good tip-off, wasn't it?

dad said...

Somebody is always inventing the next pet rock. And somebody is always ready to buy it. Unfortunately, I fit into the latter category...