August 29, 2008

Woah Woah Woah She's a Lady

McCain announced his running mate today, the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. Quite frankly, his choice insults me. It insults me because he didn't pick a woman due to her intelligence and policies as governor- he picked her because he's running against a black man and needs an edge. I guess the only edge he could come up with requires a gynecologist and lives in my pants.

It's no secret that McCain is pissed that his opponent is black (wait, he IS!?) and we all know that if/when Obama wins the presidency the GOP is going to claim he won only because of the historic shift it created in American politics and not because he is the truly better candidate. McCain knows that he couldn't pick another old white dude to be his running mate because that would prove his inability to bring change to the White House. He's just going to continue the old oligarchical, screw-the-middle-American policies that Bush put in place. It's proven to not work and it's going to continue not to work.

That old dude is playing smart, I'll give him that, but he's playing dirty. All those women who wanted Hillary and dislike Obama will now vote for McCain because he's giving them what they want- a fellow vagina close to the #1 seat. That's shallow and manipulative and if I were a Republican I would be pissed off that he thinks I'm that stupid to ignore his true motivation. His choice is an act of smoke and mirrors. He's hoping that women will see "Natural Resource Committee" on her resume and think she's for the environment- her husband works for an oil company and she's trying to get more pipeline laid in Alaska. He's hoping they will see that she's pro-family- only it means she's anti-choice and will make you take communion in lieu of an abortion. I could go on and on but my point is she has the potential to be very dangerous to women's rights. How ironic.

Now that I think about it, it's even more ironic that all those people who think women shouldn't run the country (ahem...) will have to face the very real possibility that he can die in office and leave a woman in charge. Wow, talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. Black guy or a lady? What's a racist, sexist conservative to do?

My impression of how John McCain will take the criticism, "I was a POW for five years. If I want to work with some tits and ass I deserve it. I served America the beautiful by being a POW for five years. Did I mention I was a POW for five years? They don't let you see tits or ass while you're a POW for five years. I'm going to make up for it by having Sarah wear short skirt suits and get books off the top shelf for me because my arms were broken during the five years I was a POW. Cindy, go make me a sandwich."

2 comments:

Tina said...

hahahahahaha!

dad said...

Woah indeed! Let's get a handle on this venomous sophistry by reviewing tha facts!!! Sarah Palin is well known in Republican politics as a staunch conservative with a consistent perspective on all issues throughout her career. Let's see, who else has been president or vice having "only" been a Governor...Bush-lite, Clinton and Reagan for starters--let's not forget Spiro Agnew (no, let's forget him. ick). And wasn't Cheney just an appointee all his career? Finally, if Dan Quayle can be VP, anybody can. So, let's get to the real issue...she's hot!!! That's right, smokin' in a swimsuit. What's wrong with a babe in the big house??? About time, I'd say. Oh sure, there are folks who can't handle it. Who'll care what Paris Hilton is wearing if Sarah's sporting Versace. What's wrong with giving Sarkozy's squeeze some competition? Heck, Sarah's got built-in trailer park histrionics going with her daughter's "issue" (pun intended). Great stuff!!! So suck it up, people. The world is watching and we're about to give them a show, even if that show is Jerry Springer...