This Round Better Be Cheap

I got another wedding announcement the other day. When the wedding is over and she's basking in her post-coital mess bliss, she will realize she's been with her mate for approximately 15 months. To her credit, I don't know how long she's been with him or if they've known each other since puberty. But I do know she likes to take chances.

A few weeks ago Facebook brought to my notice my twenty-two year old cousin's engagement. I was hoping his engagement would take his family's mind off the fact that I'm unmarried and childless. However, it's just gotten them all asking me and my mother what's taking me so long. I should turn right back around and ask them why they think my Grease obsessed, male cousin should be getting married to a lady.

The only people who know when the time is right to get married are the people in the relationship. I shouldn't judge the three couples who got engaged under six months. I shouldn't judge the couple who got engaged after an ultimatum. I shouldn't judge the engaged children. And they shouldn't judge me for not being married. Too bad it's all a game of shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. I judge them all. I think those people did something unwise, some even foolish. But you know what's not foolish? The amount of money I have in the divorce pool. Wakka wakka.

Whatever. I've been to those weddings, I'm going to continue to go to those weddings and some of those people are coming to mine (Hey Nana! Just so you know, I'll be so old by the time I get married that my ovaries will be shrivelled husks.) I'm kind of hoping my cousin doesn't invite me so I don't have to deal with the shit. Anyway, if I am, there better be free booze and a great DJ. And if he plays Christian rock at his reception, I'm taking Mike and gunning for the first gay bar. The music will be kicking, the booze will be flowing, and we won't be the only unmarried people around.