They Call Me Schlomo

I went to the doctor's today expecting a third middle ear infection. Instead she tells me I have swimmers ear and I have to take ear-drops. She also mentioned I can't swim for a week after my triathlon to let my ears dry out. I think I can live with that. I'll start swimming again in no time.

Yesterday I was prepared to name my ear infection Chauncey. I like the name Chauncey- there is something comically pretentious about it, like, no one can really be named Chauncey. And I wanted to name the infection to develop a relationship with it since it wasn't going anywhere soon.

Me: I'm going to give it a name because it keeps coming back. I'm naming it Chauncey.
T: I know a guy named Chauncey.
M: No you don't.
T: Yes I do.
M: What did he go by?
T: Chauncey. That was his nickname.
M: That was his nickname? What the hell was his real name?
T: Schlomo.
M: That kid got a raw deal.
T: He likes Chauncey.
M: Forget Chauncey! I'm naming it Schlomo.
T: Schlomey?
M: Schlomey.