Wanna know something dumb? I am constantly composing posts in my head but I just never write them. I convince myself that my content is boring or too navel-gazey or trivial. Tonight, I was going through that vicious cycle, decided it was bullshit, got out of bed (yes I got in bed at 9 on a Friday, what are you going to say about it?) and grabbed the computer.
Ok. So. Now what to write about...?
How 'bout them Bears? Is that even still a team? Did they get sold or move somewhere? I'm constantly learning three years too late that a team has changed its name, moved or got sold or crashed into an airplane and the whole franchise died.
.... I don't really care.
I recently came back from a trip to visit my family. Some are literal family, some are figurative family. Either way I traveled the South spending time with people (sans one very good friend in NoVA who is owed a visit for sure- she knows who she is) who've known me the longest in my life. Somehow they still like me. I was nervous I tried to see too many people in a week's span. I can confidently say that I could've happily spent more time with each. I surprised my college friend Tina and finally met my "nephew" (with whom I'm now obsessed) and spent a few days with her family. I got to wish my dad a happy birthday in person (albeit a day early). Finally I was able to see my mother and sister and "new dad" David for a few days. I laughed a lot. The only downside was once I got home I realized I missed everyone with a terrible pang. See, this whole time I've lived away from them I thought I missed them less. Turns out I always miss them. I just get used to the pain.
People ask me when they find out that I moved to Albany for my now ex if I'll move to be closer to my family. I answer no. None of us are from Atlanta or Pawleys Island. I wouldn't be moving home. I would be starting all over again. I've done that enough. I've done that a total of six-ish times. I've filled my "starting over again" quota. Besides, I have a job I love, REALLY LOVE, in a company I truly believe in. I have friends who have guided me through the shit and who make me feel like I belong. I love the community in which I live. I love the weather here. (Dude, the humidity down there!! ACK!! It was like moving through soup. Hot, frizzy soup. This is where my vanity kicks in and I tell you that I love my curly hair way way waaaaaaay too much to put it through that shit.)
I also don't know if those loved ones are going to stay where they are. Wouldn't it suck nuts if I moved there and in a few years someone got transferred or decided "eff this?" I'd have to live under a climate-controlled dome with a job making rainbows and raising baby unicorns and kidnap all my friends to go down there with me to risk all that I have up here.
That being said, there's a hole in my heart when I'm away from them. No amount of Skype or phone conversation or email or text or Facebook can fill that. I just need to figure out a way to make it happen on the regular. Got any ideas? Cheap ones? Free ones?