So.... Like... What's up with the blog? Why haven't I been posting? Where have I been? I've had a lot to say this last year but just couldn't figure out the way to say it. I also didn't know how I felt about it as it was all happening. Bottom line, my relationship ended. I'm getting divorced.
I'm not proud of the way it happened. Neither party was particularly kind to the other when it was happening. Frankly I didn't tell some people very close to me because so much of it was terribly tumultuous. So I wasn't about to sort through all of that in my blog. I wanted to- believe me. But I'm sad to say I was afraid of what would be said about what I wrote. I moderate the comments and most of the people who would have a problem with what I'm writing don't talk to me anymore and probably don't read this anymore- if they did at all. So it's not like anyone can really attack me here. And I'm trying not to let fear control my life anymore. But this is a difficult journey for me.
We separated right after Thanksgiving last year and moved into separate apartments in January. My New Year's Day 2012 was spent moving. It was pretty awful. We tried working on it but I wasn't being honest or forthright with myself or with Mike about what I wanted and it was pretty rough. And unfair. June was when the divorce started to move forward. We went to mediation and now I'm just waiting for the paperwork so it can be final and I can move on.
This divorce is for the best. It is sad, yes. But I'm okay. Really, I really am.