This Is Becoming Unacceptable

This morning Fluffy pissed on the bed again. Yeah yeah yeah. She does it all the time. But this time was different. I WAS IN THE BED WHEN SHE DID IT. I didn't notice until I stretched out and felt a cold, wet spot. Mike was gone, doesn't bring drinks in the bedroom in the morning and knows where the toilet is. My only other option was Fluffy. And I was correct. And she must've been holding it in all night. That thing can pee.

With a knee perfumed with cat pheromones, I opened the bedroom door to find the offender. She was waiting patiently for me at the other end of the hall. Sitting upright, silent and perfectly still. She didn't move when I said her name. We stood there long enough for the theme to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly to pop into my head. Finally the pisser started to make her way down the hall. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed her and put her face in it. I know that's what you do for dogs and not cats but sheesh! What else is there to do?

I cleaned the litter box and fed her. Then I stripped the bed. I heard her pawing around in the litter until she starts meowing. I go into the bathroom and she's sitting there waiting for me. She leads me towards her (clean) litter box and while I watch, she proceeds to use it. (I notice she had a spot of diarrhea again so maybe she doesn't like to use the litter when she's had terrible BMs.) She uses the box just fine but when she makes it out to the hallway she rubs her ass along the rug. I look for poo smears but luckily there were none. It appears she's not sick like the last time when she almost diarrhea-ed on the bed. She moves into the bedroom to sniff around and looks like she's going to shit on the floor. I tell her to move on out and she starts to clean herself instead. I swear if she had any poo left she would've dropped one right on the floor.

She's fine the rest of the morning but I made sure to close the doors to both bedrooms before I left for work. I called the vet during lunch for some kind of advice. They don't know what to tell me (who would!?) and if I wanted to bring her in for a pee test I could to make sure it's not medical. I ask how much that would cost- a cool $125. I'm not terribly concerned about it being a health concern so much as a behavioural problem so I pass. The person on the phone told me her cat pissed on her roommate's bed all summer until one day the cat just stopped. She thinks it was the detergent- that the cat didn't like it and let her roommate know by peeing everywhere. According to the very helpful lady sometimes the behavior goes away. I guess I'll have to keep the litter immaculate and see how it plays out.

Blerg. At least she didn't pee on my pillow. That would've been pretty terrible since my face would've been there at the time.