November 26, 2008

I Wish I Weren't a Cliche

It's a known fact that holidays are stressful. It's the shopping and the travelling and the getting together with family. I don't like shopping or getting together with my family. I love travelling, crazy season or not, and I enjoy getting together with Mike's family. To be fair, I can handle each member of my immediate family just fine when they are on their own. Put me around certain combinations and I want to rip my hair out. Each of them knows that- I'm sure even my mom can sense that. Certain family combinations just don't work. They just happen to all occur on the holidays and therefore I face the holiday season each year with dread.

I just wish it wasn't so hard to celebrate with them. Everything is compounded by my parent's divorce and each of us living in separate places. My mother tries way too hard to make the holidays special and memorable. So hard, she makes me want to scream and smack her. She can't just enjoy the holidays. They are a production. A production I don't need or care for. One Thanksgiving she got Boston Market so she could spend more time with us. Instead she went and made a bunch of stuff for her craft show that was that weekend. So we all ate shitty food while she apologized for not being around more, which in my opinion isn't such a bad thing. There's not much we can all do together but play game after game of Scrabble, cribbage, or rummy. My mother constantly feels left out because my siblings and I share a sense of humor she lacks. It's just a big, sloppy mess.

I try to not let who's around me or not around me affect my holiday festivities. I guess it's desensitizing me to the holidays in general. Holidays are about who you surround yourself with. If I'm with people I don't want to be around or aren't with people I do want to be around, what's the point? Maybe that's why I just put my head down and try get through them. They aren't what people crack them up to be.

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