Just Five More Minutes

I signed up for the next triathlon for a few reasons- I want to stay in summer shape, I enjoy training, and the last triathlon was so much fun. I had so much fun! getting my ass in gear for Pine Bush. But this time around I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I don't know if it's because I'm not scared of this triathlon like I was the other. Fear seemed to be my biggest motivator last time. If I didn't do what my trainer Pamela told me to do then I would fall over and die. This time I know what to expect and since I'm not training to win I'm sort of lackadaisical about it. I just can't get out of bed early enough to do what I need to do. And I can't even scare myself into it.

Mike asked me why I don't train to get a better time. That's a great goal. I'll admit I'm selling myself short when I answer that I'm just slow. But I am slow. I'm a slow runner. I run but running is not my thing. I do all these races for fitness and if I do better from race to race then hot dog! It's a bonus. But I'm not going to win any races. And I'm okay with that. (I'm probably only okay with that because I HAVE been improving with each race. If I didn't then I'd be a whiny bitch.)

I'm just so tired all the time. I'm short an hour of sleep each night but I cannot wake up in the mornings. I don't sleep through the night and I don't go to bed or wake up at the same time. I just sleep as long as I can. I hate it. I know exercise gives you energy but I just can't find the motivation to get up. Luckily, I'm going to train a lot next week while I'm on the Jersey Shore for a vacation. I'll be able to sleep all I want and work out all I want. I don't know if I'm going to get to swim swim all that much but I can do plenty bike riding and running. Maybe I'll even improve my running time. I guess we'll see.