I is Loving Grammar

Alright class. Are we ready for our grammar lesson for today? Yes? Fabulous. Our lesson today concerns the use of me or I.

Please select the correct usage:

a) This is Brad Pitt and I making out after we did three Irish Car Bombs.

b) This is George Clooney and me sunbathing nude in Tuscany.

c) This is Mike laughing after Christian Bale and me prank him, making him think I'd left him for Batman.

d) Me and Natalie Portman thank you for coming to our lecture on The Role of Zionism in Cryptozoology.

Well class? If you picked "a" you are a peeping Tom with horrendous grammar. If you picked "c" you have an excellent sense of humor but a terrible sense of grammar. If you picked "d" you don't know what you're talking about especially when talking about grammar. If you picked "b"- congratulations! You are a dirty pervert with excellent grammar skills.

The trick to choosing the correct usage of me or I is this: remove the other person's name and see if me or I makes sense. For example:

a) This is [Brad Pitt and] me making out after we did three Irish Car Bombs.

b) This is [George Clooney and] me sunbathing nude in Tuscany.

c) This is Mike laughing after [Christian Bale and] I prank him making him think I'd left him for Batman.

d) [Natalie Portman and] I thank you for coming to our lecture on The Role of Zionism in Crypotzoology.

It's a direct object rule but I'm not going to bore you with that crap. The only other thing with which I want to leave you is to always list yourself last. It is only polite. You bunch of dummies.